Is the problem really table-hogging, or something else?
The video seems to be saying that it is customers staying a long time (and using the internet) that is causing independent coffee shops to lose money. How about the cost of bandwidth and electricity? Is that a factor? And if not…

What about people who are reading books, writing novels without a laptop or talking endlessly to their friends?
Table-hogging causes lost business. I know this from experience working in a coffee shop – people see the place is full, turn around and leave. They want a sit-down more than they want your particular style of coffee. But…

You don’t need to have a laptop to be a table-hog. What about those people with broadsheet newspapers who spread them across a table meant for three or four people? Or the noisy groups of kids who order one drink between them and sit around for hours, screaming and taking photos (with the bloody flash on)?

My local Starbucks kicks them out after a couple of hours, thankfully, but that side of table-hogging is not explored in the video. Instead, it is those Naughty Internet Users who are causing all of the problems.

Doing the (sort-of) maths, the people mentioned in the video are actually courteous customers who should be loved.
On average, they seem to stay for three hours and have three drinks each – that’s more than most people will buy in a conversation with their friends. And really, if they’re buying a drink, shouldn’t that reset their table useage as if they were a new customer? Or do you want them to walk around the block and come in again?

Starbucks is mentioned specifically as a problem due to its free wi-fi program pilfering all the customers.** Why hasn’t Starbucks lost money if it is just a case of table-hogging?
Like you, Mr Coffee Shop Owner, Starbucks has a limited number of seats. It has to pay its electricity and internet bills, food and drink costs, rent, etc. This cost may be spread out among its stores (I don’t know how they do that sort of thing), but a simple law of physics states that two customers cannot sit in the same chair at the same time (at least not without being told off for causing a hazard).

And finally… if all the laptop users are moving to Starbucks, aren’t you glad to get rid of them? Isn’t that what you were trying to do? Geez, make your mind up!

I am beginning to think this is simply a case of “We can’t pay our enormous bandwidth bill” dressed up as yet another story filed under OMG: The Internet is DESTROYING SOCIETY!!!11!!

[image credit: Working late by ljleavell via stock.xchng]

♦ ♦ ♦ The Footnotes ♦ ♦ ♦

* And another thing: The BBC had to send someone to New York to cover this story? Are there no coffee shops in the UK with this problem? Apparently not. Mr Coffee Shop Owner, your prayers have been answered. Move to the UK, and set up business here.

**Shhh… I’ve recently spotted promotional materials in Starbucks that hint at a similar free wi-fi program rolling out in the UK soon, following its switch to BT Openzone.*** Apparently, it’s been in the works for a while. Yay!

*** In partnership with iPhone carrier 02, who used to be called BT Cellnet, so it isn’t suprising that the two companies are still slightly attracted to each other.

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